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Disclaimer: This and all the other articles are based on fact, but NOT FACTUAL in. reality. The article you are about to read may reference real world statistics and facts, but the overall article's purpose is a comedic story or a satirical piece. Read at your own risk.
A new cereal is being developed as an answer to the lack of outside play from modern children. A poll from OnePoll in 2018 had 2,000 British parents rate how much time their kids play outside, and the numbers came back with a less than desirable amount.
The results of said poll shows that children from the ages of six to 16 spend only about seven hours outside, while spending about double that time inside on social media, or playing video games. While parents continue to complain and blame this issue on their children playing video games, there seems to be a new solution.
Food manufacturers have banded together to help create a new cereal, one with an amount of sugar so high, the children will be on what's being described as an "atomic sugar high," making children do nothing but sprint at top speeds outside. Tests have shown children breaking Mach-3 in terms of speed. The only question that remains is . . . how long does the effect last? I have laundry to fold, and Billy is getting on my nerves.
What do you think of this new cereal? Would you buy it? In bulk?
Or would you go all FDA on this emerging product? Let us know down in the comments!
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