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Until now, it has been common knowledge there are a variety of cows that have flavored milk, which has been sold in stores to many's delight! However, this recent press conference changes everything!
Disclaimer: This and all the other articles are based on fact, but NOT FACTUAL in reality. The article you are about to read may reference real world statistics and facts, but the overall article's purpose is a comedic story or a satirical piece. Read at your own risk.
For years our government has told us the fact that milk from cows. Hell, we learned that in kindergarten. However, a popular meme amongst the youth could actually hold some factual truth to it. A very common joke about flavored milk coming from flavored cows, is nothing new, however, a recent video has surfaced online showing the machines and processes behind everyone's favorite: chocolate milk.
Consumers are in shock and awe of this government conspiracy, now referred to as "Milkgate" online. Protestors lined up outside the capitol building earlier today, demanding that they refund any and all profits made by dairy distributors using regular cows and syrup. A common tagline being used in online soapboxes and during in person rallies is "We know you're hiding them."
The National Guard refused to defend anything, and in a surprising turn of events, is actually joining these anti-milkgate protestors storm dairy distributors at their factories, processing plants, warehouses and even down at the farms where it all starts. The ultimate goal of this movement seems to be making its way to the presses, as well.
The movement is demanding the release of all flavored cows, as to obtain the flavored milk from the source, and distribute this directly to the people, free from clumps, and more importantly, free from lies.
The following flavors are being cited as highly sought after: chocolate, strawberry, and the extremely rare and delicious banana milk. Other flavors being sought after are the orange and mint cream milks, however, less support is shown to those flavors, even before the dawn of the Milkgate movement.
But how do you, the reader, feel about this government cover-up? Or should we say "udder-up?" . . . You clicked away didn't you? Who are we kidding, you probably didn't make it past the first paragraph.
Regardless, like, comment, and share to spread the "truth" about Milkgate, and for more News You Need!
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