Evidence this weekday MIGHT be killing you . . .

A recent hospital entry in Oshkosh, WI, might be giving the phrase a "case of the Monday's" new meaning.

Local accountant Cory Ona has been pulling doubles all week, but nothing would've prepared him for this past Monday.

Disclaimer: This and all the other articles are based on fact, but NOT FACTUAL in reality. The article you are about to read may reference real world statistics and facts, but the overall article's purpose is a comedic story or a satirical piece. Read at your own risk.

Mr. Ona was recently given a promotion for his hard work, and is now responsible for filing all reports and records handed in from Friday at 4:00pm (when the firm closes) through Monday at 7:59am (a minute before the firm opens).

This is exactly what Mr. Ona wanted, however the heart attack and kidney failure are surely not what he had envisioned the first day of his new job. Despite a miraculous recovery, and no real need for surgery, this event is baffling medical professionals, as when they checked Cory Ona's chart the following day, Tuesday, he miraculously was cured of any and all symptoms, and in peak condition.

This is not the first time someone went through this odd medical journey. In fact, the famous feline himself, Garfield, wrote an entire novel, Monday's: How The Weekend is Helping You. The comical comic strip cat goes into detail on how his owner, John, slowly lost his insanity with the mundane and contrived nature of the day. The mysterious circumstances come as a shock, but only further the hate towards everyone's least favorite weekday: MONDAY! Let's take a page from Garfield's book and say goodbye to Monday's.

What do you think of this mysterious occurrence? Is it the most shocking thing you have ever heard? Are you not in the mood to even DISCUSS Monday on a FRIDAY!?!

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