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The lovable mascot sets New Year's resolution, and plans to stay committed.
Disclaimer: This and all the other articles are based on fact, but NOT FACTUAL in reality. The article you are about to read may reference real world statistics and facts, but the overall article's purpose is a comedic story or a satirical piece. Read at your own risk.
After years of humiliation, The Pillsbury Doughboy, now going by Phillsbury, is set to lose three pounds by the end of the year. After being brought a contract from the pastry company, Phillsbury has left the organization, and is setting his dead, lifeless eyes on being the new face of physical perfection.
Phillsbury went on to say during our interview, "I won't be belittled anymore. How would you feel if people that are literally ten times your size bend over and poke you in the stomach?" The former mascot went on to explain his frustration with his appearance. "I'm made out of dough, so in reality, I could just kneed myself into shape, but where's the challenge? I made hundreds of thousands of dollars making a stupid, little laugh into the camera, the least I can do is put in the work."
So, with one of the most beloved, pudgy little mascots wanting to slim down, what does this mean for food mascots across the board? Maybe this event will inspire the Trix Rabbit to go to rehab? Maybe Tony the Tiger could be his sponsor? It remains to be seen.
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Well done! Graphics are awesome!